When I were a lad

[Cloth-Ears]

When I were a lad I took a library record, put it on an old Garrard gramaphone and played it through my home made audio system.

I didn't cue the arm across. No, I used my own.

I took an A4 sheet of paper, rolled it at an angle, so it resenbled a sort of chips cone, then sellotaped it along the edge to give it structural integrity of sorts. I stuck a pin through the pointed end of the cone.

Pincing an edge ofthe cone lightly at the open end I let the cone follow the grpves of the record, the pin being a "stylus".

Fuck me it worked !

Sound came out , I could hear words and instruments !

Bad puss, very naughty cat indeed.

[meninblack]

When you were a lad? Surely "kitten?"

There now. See how cheap and easy it is to make your own cartridge/tonearm/phono stage/amplifier/loudspeaker. How can these so-called "hi-fi" companies justify the outrageous prices of equipment that does the same thing?

[tones]

With apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan:



When I was a kit, I played a treat

With a borrowed vinyl record and a paper sheet

I stuck up cone, placed apex pin

And a surface contact reproduced amazing din

And this sort of sound so pleasèd me

That laughing people made me become quite catty

[SSM]

tones wrote:

With apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan:



When I was a kit, I played a treat

With a borrowed vinyl record and a paper sheet

I stuck up cone, placed apex pin

And a surface contact reproduced amazing din

And this sort of sound so pleasèd me

That laughing people made me become quite catty

The Ice Cream Business's been slow today?

7/10

[ClassikFan]

Cloth-Ears wrote:

When I were a lad I took a library record, put it on an old Garrard gramaphone and played it through my home made audio system.

I didn't cue the arm across. No, I used my own.

I took an A4 sheet of paper, rolled it at an angle, so it resenbled a sort of chips cone, then sellotaped it along the edge to give it structural integrity of sorts. I stuck a pin through the pointed end of the cone.

Pincing an edge ofthe cone lightly at the open end I let the cone follow the grpves of the record, the pin being a "stylus".

Fuck me it worked !

Sound came out , I could hear words and instruments !

Bad puss, very naughty cat indeed.

Have you a method for CD's?

[meninblack]

ClassikFan wrote:

Cloth-Ears wrote:

When I were a lad I took a library record, put it on an old Garrard gramaphone and played it through my home made audio system.

I didn't cue the arm across. No, I used my own.

I took an A4 sheet of paper, rolled it at an angle, so it resenbled a sort of chips cone, then sellotaped it along the edge to give it structural integrity of sorts. I stuck a pin through the pointed end of the cone.

Pincing an edge ofthe cone lightly at the open end I let the cone follow the grpves of the record, the pin being a "stylus".

Fuck me it worked !

Sound came out , I could hear words and instruments !

Bad puss, very naughty cat indeed.

Have you a method for CD's?

Just replace the pin with a bettery-powered torch. One of those mini-maglites is best - the narrow beam gives improved dynamics.

[TIU]

Clothy, put a claw in the grooves and see if the sound comes out of yer arse! If there's too much bass shove a cork bung up it.



And while you're doing that can you sharpen my pencil?

[Boxer]

meninblack wrote:

ClassikFan wrote:

Cloth-Ears wrote:

When I were a lad I took a library record, put it on an old Garrard gramaphone and played it through my home made audio system.

I didn't cue the arm across. No, I used my own.

I took an A4 sheet of paper, rolled it at an angle, so it resenbled a sort of chips cone, then sellotaped it along the edge to give it structural integrity of sorts. I stuck a pin through the pointed end of the cone.

Pincing an edge ofthe cone lightly at the open end I let the cone follow the grpves of the record, the pin being a "stylus".

Fuck me it worked !

Sound came out , I could hear words and instruments !

Bad puss, very naughty cat indeed.

Have you a method for CD's?

Just replace the pin with a bettery-powered torch. One of those mini-maglites is best - the narrow beam gives improved dynamics.

So what happens when you change the focus of the beam? Do you get a broader sound-stage or what?

Boxer

[rockmeister]

tones...what was that...trying to fit it to 'cheap and chippy chopper' from Mikado?
8/10

[rockmeister]

cloth...r u serious?
I remember my introduction to HiFi by a mate a swansea uni who was advising me to tape old pennies to the headshell of my SP25 to make it track warped records (funny how, when your sitting on the floor, records just have to be taken off the deck and placed across a hot pipe...and no-one notices...wonder why)
but not in your league admittedly.

[Cloth-Ears]

Well, yes it is true. I did it and it worked as described.

I haven't tried it with a cd.

Meninblack, yes I meant kitten. I said lad just to test to see if you were on the ball. But yes I am a real cat, I assure you.

As for the claw-arse suggestion. No that doesn't work. Haven't tried it. But I could have if I wanted to , for I do have claws. ( Meninblack take note ).

[Sid and Coke]

When I were a lad;

My old man used to thrash me to within an inch of me life every night when he got in from work and then he'd say, "Son, that was for nowt, and if you cry I'll thrash you some more ! "

So i used to force myself to cry,'cause i knew it was doing me good....

[Cloth-Ears]

That's nothing !

When I were a lad we used to work 24 hours a day at mill and pay mill owner to work there. Then when we got home we had to eat a bowl of freezing cold poison then our dad would slice us in two with bread knife.

Aye, them days were hard, not like now. Youth of today don't know they're born.

[Injector]

Cloth-Ears wrote:

That's nothing !

When I were a lad we used to work 24 hours a day at mill and pay mill owner to work there. Then when we got home we had to eat a bowl of freezing cold poison then our dad would slice us in two with bread knife.

Aye, them days were hard, not like now. Youth of today don't know they're born.

Bah. I work 24 hours a day minimum!

[Cloth-Ears]

Yeah, ugh......work sucks.



CLOTH-EARS DECLARES:

The world owes me a living.

Contributions to my rightful income may be deposited directly to my bank account. I need to get off, I don't like it.

PM me for details.

[tones]

solidstateman wrote:

The Ice Cream Business's been slow today?

7/10

Well with you as the resident screamer, SS, what chance do I have?