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  1. #1
    Moderator barneys dad's Avatar
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    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No

    Call Centre Scum. How do you deal with them?

    "Can I speak to the owner of the business"
    You don't even know the name of the company you are calling.

    "We're conducting a survey"
    Like f*ck. Its a sales call.

    "3 months ago, you agreed to place some advertising with us".
    B*llocks, I've never spoken to you before.

    We've all got to make a living (unless you've been the CEO of a bank tax payers has kept alive and have bailed out after 5 minutes in the job with a big fat lump sum, share options and a mega pension) but I'd rather pick the scabs of a rabid dead donkey's arse than work in a call center.
    I've got to the point of just slamming the phone down on these dregs of mankind.
    Anyone got any killer replies to make these wastes of space feel even more worthless?
    103 The Eye, radio presenter/DJ. Tuesdays 10am - 1pm. New music & classic tracks. Latest album chart. Gig Guide. Beat The DJ.
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  2. #2
    Toblerob freefallrob's Avatar
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     Rogers LS4a
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    "We're conducting a survey"

    My reply to one last night as I was preparing dinner "Well there's a funny thing thing so am I" .

    Caller. "oh right?"

    Me. "Yes, I'd like to ask YOU a few lame questions and maybe pop in some steamy sales patter somewhere along the line, I presume you have a few moments as you were kind enough to return my call?"

    Caller "Er....."

    Me "That's great, how many times in a day do you feel on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the most likely) that you feel you piss people off?"

    Caller.............>line goes dead<
    Last edited by freefallrob; 14-06-2013 at 01:42 PM.

  3. #3
    Wammer
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    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    My reply to these people and it works every time. Just say im sorry I am unable to talk with you I have mental Health Issues.

    Mind you looking at my HIFI system I have
    Last edited by DaveofBradford; 14-06-2013 at 01:20 PM. Reason: remembered
    Best Regards

    Dave

  4. #4
    Super Wammer brystonian's Avatar
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    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    I just immediately hang up the second I know they're a waste of time. Unless I'm bored. Then i just repeat the same phrase at different speeds in increasingly silly voices. So they can't quite understand you. 'I like turtles' is going pretty well.

  5. #5
    Wammer zygote23's Avatar
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    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    I ask them what time they get off.....then I ask if I can watch!
    Numbers 32:23..............................sniggers!

  6. #6
    Αdministrator notaclue's Avatar
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    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    You lot are taking the wrong approach. Why not spend half an hour or so answering all of their questions? If they are selling something, why not buy it?

  7. #7
    Super Wammer Turn it up!'s Avatar
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    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    I love the answers you guys are giving and I wish I could go through with them but in the end I just think these people are doing jobs they generally know are S**t but don't have a lot of choice. A friend of mine lost his job last year, he's over 50 and has struggled to get any kind of work. In the end he's taken a job cold calling. He knows its not up to much but at the moment doesn't have much of choice. In the end I think of him and find the best answer is not to torment them but just say no thanks and put the phone down straight away. Now if I could actually speak to the people that own these companies / call centres then I'd have something to say...

    Cheers
    'There must be boxing, there must be Jazz, there must be a cool guy who has a scooter and meets pretty girls, and from time to time has some reflections"
    Skolimowski on how to make a contemporary film.

  8. #8
    Wammer
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     Yes. I have some.
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Quote Originally Posted by Turn it up! View Post
    I love the answers you guys are giving and I wish I could go through with them but in the end I just think these people are doing jobs they generally know are S**t but don't have a lot of choice. A friend of mine lost his job last year, he's over 50 and has struggled to get any kind of work. In the end he's taken a job cold calling. He knows its not up to much but at the moment doesn't have much of choice. In the end I think of him and find the best answer is not to torment them but just say no thanks and put the phone down straight away. Now if I could actually speak to the people that own these companies / call centres then I'd have something to say...

    Cheers
    Repped. Thoughtful and kind response to cold calling.

    I have nothing but sympathy for them and am always unfailingly polite but firm. Usually along the following lines: "Look, thanks, I don't wish to buy anything but I do appreciate that you have a tough job to do. Let me wish you better luck on your next call."

  9. #9
    Deaf Wammer Tel's Avatar
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     LV OBX-R2
    Pre Amp
     Audio Note M3
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     CocoSan 300B PP Mono
    Headphones
     
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Has any one been watching 'The Call Centre' on BBC3?

    It is actually very good, the boss spends all his time trying to make sure his staff are happy! It obviously pays off as he has gone from a staff of 8 to over 200 in the last few years so it obviously works.

    If you don't want the calls register with the TPS, or even if you haven't tell them you have, they hang up immediately.
    There must be more to living
    Than a mortgage and a lawn to mow - Joni

  10. #10
    Super Wammer nomismo's Avatar
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     Packed away
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     Senn HD650's Taurus
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    They just follow a script after the systems auto dialed a pile of numbers, earlier this year we were daily phoned by an Asian gent asking if i had cavity wall insulation and if i had loft insulation and how deep it is. For fourteen days he got the same answer,both being i don't know, i lived on the sixth floor and the roof is another eight floors above, he didn't catch on until a few choice words went his way.

  11. #11
    Gufmeister Leonard Smalls's Avatar
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     Leema/Ditton
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     Sennheiser
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    I'm registered with the TPS. And the new way round that is that they're ringing with a "survey".
    Last time I gave them a false name and answered all the questions, just to see how much junk mail I'd get (the caller assured me I wouldn't...)
    Professor Smithsonian has had about 30 letters trying to sell him everything from double glazing to insurance.
    Now, if the number doesn't come up on the phone display I let the answerphone take it.

  12. #12
    Wammer TheMinimalCriminal's Avatar
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    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    I'm surprised no one has mentioned the genuine cold calling scum that are the people that call in pretending to be from Microsoft trying to extort money from the ignorant.

  13. #13
    Super Wammer TigerTiger's Avatar
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    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Quote Originally Posted by Turn it up! View Post
    I love the answers you guys are giving and I wish I could go through with them but in the end I just think these people are doing jobs they generally know are S**t but don't have a lot of choice. A friend of mine lost his job last year, he's over 50 and has struggled to get any kind of work. In the end he's taken a job cold calling. He knows its not up to much but at the moment doesn't have much of choice. In the end I think of him and find the best answer is not to torment them but just say no thanks and put the phone down straight away. Now if I could actually speak to the people that own these companies / call centres then I'd have something to say...

    Cheers
    That's what I do, small business, time really is money, but I do feel for them, it's a shit job.
    "I watched hours and hours of soccer. I almost saw a goal!" —Homer Simpson

  14. #14
    Αdministrator notaclue's Avatar
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    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Quote Originally Posted by Cloth-Ears View Post
    Next time call yourself *the name* Cock.
    How very dare you! However, I do agree that you could compel the caller to hang up using *the name*. "By the power of *the name*, I compel thee to go hangeth up and not calleth me back!" That would surely work.

  15. #15
    Wammer It Cost How Much!?!'s Avatar
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     Avantgarde Solo +M&K
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     Gryphon Bel Canto
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    If it's from outside the UK, I say that I don't take calls from outside the UK.

    If not, then generally I hang up.

  16. #16
    Super Wammer tones's Avatar
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    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Patent attorneys are now plagued with cold callers from India, offering Indian-based search services at prices much lower than one would get from the locals. They clearly have the Register of European Patent Attorneys and they are working methodically through it. This is very fine, but the problem is that these people never go away. You tell them, "Yes, thank you, just send me some information, and if I need your services, I'll call". So they do - and a couple of months later they're back, asking for a few moments(!) of your time/can I take you through a typical search/we've prepared this search in your technical area, and we'd be pleased to discuss it/our local manager Mr. Dilip Swamaramaty Shoobedoowop will be in Switzerland next week and he'd be delighted to demonstrate. When you have a dozen of these companies, the calls are coming in weekly. I can't be rude to them, I'm afraid, but as soon as I hear the Indian accent, I say, "Sorry, but if you're selling me an Indian-based search service, I'll call you when I need you". It doesn't stop them from coming back, but at least it cuts short any attempted conversation.
    The man with the golden ear trumpet

  17. #17
    Αdministrator notaclue's Avatar
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    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    The only ones I object to are the fraud ones. I had an Indian IT "we've found a virus on your computer" call and I ended up telling him he was a liar and he should phone people up and introduce himself by saying "Hello, I am a liar". He got very upset, told me not to speak to him like that and hung up.

    No need to be rude to normal ones, just say you are not interested.

  18. #18
    I'm a cold Italian pizza Professor Chaos's Avatar
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    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Quote Originally Posted by notaclue View Post
    The only ones I object to are the fraud ones. I had an Indian IT "we've found a virus on your computer" call and I ended up telling him he was a liar and he should phone people up and introduce himself by saying "Hello, I am a liar". He got very upset, told me not to speak to him like that and hung up.

    No need to be rude to normal ones, just say you are not interested.
    I'm not with you there. I had one of these helpful gentlemen call me the other day, all I had to do was provide him with some passwords and he fixed my computer a treat. Top service

    - - - Updated - - -

    Was it Cloffo that had an Indian IT tell him to cut his cock off and cook it or summat?
    Prof. Chaos 2 - Electric Boogaloo

  19. #19
    Toblerob freefallrob's Avatar
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    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Quote Originally Posted by Professor Chaos View Post
    I'm not with you there. I had one of these helpful gentlemen call me the other day, all I had to do was provide him with some passwords and he fixed my computer a treat. Top service
    That would the same chap who sorted my computer the other, it *&%$^£"!|___))(

  20. #20
    Super Wammer musicbox's Avatar
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     Liv Zen Vortexbox
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     Event Opals
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    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    I ask them what they are wearing, that usually results in them hanging up.
    TPS doesn't work.

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