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  1. #1
    GdSveTheQueenTheFacistRgm barneys dad's Avatar
    Join Date
     Jan 2009
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     Melton Mowbray UK
    Real Name
     steve
    Turn Table
     NAS Hyperspace
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     H'ck 242, Ofon Per W
    SUT/Phono
     T Willis/EE Minimax
    Digital Source 1
     SBT
    Digital Source 2
     Pioneer spinner
    DAC
     Jolida Modwrighted
    Speakers
     ESL 2905, Velodyne
    Pre Amp
     Art Audio Conductor
    Power Amp
     Art Audio Concerto
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No

    Call Centre Scum. How do you deal with them?

    "Can I speak to the owner of the business"
    You don't even know the name of the company you are calling.

    "We're conducting a survey"
    Like f*ck. Its a sales call.

    "3 months ago, you agreed to place some advertising with us".
    B*llocks, I've never spoken to you before.

    We've all got to make a living (unless you've been the CEO of a bank tax payers has kept alive and have bailed out after 5 minutes in the job with a big fat lump sum, share options and a mega pension) but I'd rather pick the scabs of a rabid dead donkey's arse than work in a call center.
    I've got to the point of just slamming the phone down on these dregs of mankind.
    Anyone got any killer replies to make these wastes of space feel even more worthless?
    Community radio presenter Steve Edwards. 103 The Eye. Live online www.103theeye.co.uk. 103.0 FM. Tuesdays 10am-1pm. Email a request www.studio@103theeye.co.uk.

  2. #2
    Horrible UKIP Bastard Cloth-Ears's Avatar
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     New Swabia
    Turn Table
     Aye
    Digital Source 1
     Several. All off.
    Speakers
     They speak English
    Power Amp
     Never on.
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Play dumb. Repeat questions in different ways. Deliberately misunderstand them. Ask them to repeat things. Even ask, "Howd'youmean ?"
    Invite them to elaborate in ways that make you sound like a machine, " I see, please tell me more", "Now please tell more more about xxxx.... ", "Please repeat the previous statement", "I'm sorry I could not understand what you were saying, please repeat ........"
    Let them eventually have the impression that you've understood some of what they are telling you, then once again forget and ask questions about the very basics or what they started with. Ask them who they are and/or why they are calling you.
    Creatively make endless loops of this until they lose their temper and hang up. Or, pass you over to their "supervisor", in which case you may repeat all of the above again until the expiration of his/her patience.
    Work is a damn nuisance and a waste of precious time.

  3. #3
    Sandra's No.1 fan. freefallrob's Avatar
    Join Date
     Jun 2008
    Posts
     6,344
    Location
     Swanwick, Derbyshire
    Real Name
     Go on have a guess.
    Turn Table
     SL1200MK2
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     RB301/2M Blue
    SUT/Phono
     In the RA-04
    Digital Source 1
     Philips CD850
    Integrated Amp
     Rotel RA-04
    Speakers
     Castle Durham
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    "We're conducting a survey"

    My reply to one last night as I was preparing dinner "Well there's a funny thing thing so am I" .

    Caller. "oh right?"

    Me. "Yes, I'd like to ask YOU a few lame questions and maybe pop in some steamy sales patter somewhere along the line, I presume you have a few moments as you were kind enough to return my call?"

    Caller "Er....."

    Me "That's great, how many times in a day do you feel on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the most likely) that you feel you piss people off?"

    Caller.............>line goes dead<
    Last edited by freefallrob; 14-06-2013 at 01:42 PM.

  4. #4
    In the trade Wammer Purité North's Avatar
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     Nov 2012
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     Selby, North Yorks
    Real Name
     Paul / sodders
    Turn Table
     Palmer 2.5
    T/Arm & Cart
     ANUK Arm 2 / Io 1
    SUT/Phono
     Puresound/Audio Note
    Digital Source 1
     Sonneteer Byron CDP
    Digital Source 2
     Puresound A8500 CDP
    DAC
     Sonneteer Sedley USB
    Integrated Amp
     Sonneteer/Audio Note
    Speakers
     AE Ref1 / 305
    Pre Amp
     Puresound L300
    Power Amp
     Puresound M845s
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     Yes
    Cold callers usually get the same response from me:

    "Oooh, that's interesting, can you hold the line a moment..."

    Then I put the 'phone down on the desk and leave it there while they wait, and wait, and wait...

    ~20 minutes is my best to date.

    And all the time they're doing that, they're wasting their money and not wasting some other poor sap's time.

  5. #5
    Horrible UKIP Bastard Cloth-Ears's Avatar
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    Location
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    Turn Table
     Aye
    Digital Source 1
     Several. All off.
    Speakers
     They speak English
    Power Amp
     Never on.
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    But sometimes it's satisfying to actively wind them up.
    For inspiration I can lend you The Book of Trolls if you like. It's an ancient manuscript but nevertheless holds relevance through all ages.
    Work is a damn nuisance and a waste of precious time.

  6. #6
    Wammer
    Join Date
     Mar 2009
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     263
    Location
     Bradford, , United K
    Real Name
     Dave
    Turn Table
     VPI Classic
    T/Arm & Cart
     VPI Anniv + DL304
    SUT/Phono
     Musical Fidelity V3
    Digital Source 1
     NAS
    Digital Source 2
     Squeeze Classic
    DAC
     Micromega MyDac
    Speakers
     Robson Opulus
    Pre Amp
     Naim 122x
    Power Amp
     Naim 155x
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    My reply to these people and it works every time. Just say im sorry I am unable to talk with you I have mental Health Issues.

    Mind you looking at my HIFI system I have
    Last edited by DaveofBradford; 14-06-2013 at 01:20 PM. Reason: remembered
    Best Regards

    Dave

  7. #7
    Horrible UKIP Bastard Cloth-Ears's Avatar
    Join Date
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     New Swabia
    Turn Table
     Aye
    Digital Source 1
     Several. All off.
    Speakers
     They speak English
    Power Amp
     Never on.
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Then you'll start getting cold calls about mental pills.
    Work is a damn nuisance and a waste of precious time.

  8. #8
    Souper Wammer brystonian's Avatar
    Join Date
     Aug 2012
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    Location
     Bedfordshire
    Real Name
     Jim
    Digital Source 1
     PC
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     Audiolab M-DAC
    Integrated Amp
     Bryston B-60
    Speakers
     Spendor A6
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    I just immediately hang up the second I know they're a waste of time. Unless I'm bored. Then i just repeat the same phrase at different speeds in increasingly silly voices. So they can't quite understand you. 'I like turtles' is going pretty well.

  9. #9
    Wammer zygote23's Avatar
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     Jul 2006
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    Location
     North Ireland, ,
    Real Name
     Steve
    Turn Table
     Project Xperience
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     As above
    SUT/Phono
     Icon Audio PS1
    Digital Source 1
     Nas, Flac, SBT
    DAC
     CA Dacmagic
    Integrated Amp
     Electrocompaniet 1 3
    Speakers
     ProAc Studio 140
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    I ask them what time they get off.....then I ask if I can watch!
    Music up for grabs at My Discogs Open to offers from wammers on everything! (Except for Johnniebaby cos the artist wouldn't benefit )

  10. #10
    Wammer notaclue's Avatar
    Join Date
     Jul 2005
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     Mayfair
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     Duke of Steepletone
    Turn Table
     Steepletone Rock One
    Digital Source 1
     Steepletone Rock One
    Digital Source 2
     Steepletone Rock One
    Speakers
     Steepletone Rock One
    Pre Amp
     Steepletone Rock One
    Power Amp
     Steepletone Rock One
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    You lot are taking the wrong approach. Why not spend half an hour or so answering all of their questions? If they are selling something, why not buy it?
    Steepletone Rock One Jukebox



  11. #11
    Super Wammer Turn it up!'s Avatar
    Join Date
     Nov 2012
    Posts
     346
    Location
     South London Forever
    Digital Source 1
     Astin Trew 3500+
    Digital Source 2
     iPad3 / Apple TV
    Speakers
     Zingali Overture .3s
    Pre Amp
     Music First MKII
    Power Amp
     John Howes Quad II's
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    I love the answers you guys are giving and I wish I could go through with them but in the end I just think these people are doing jobs they generally know are S**t but don't have a lot of choice. A friend of mine lost his job last year, he's over 50 and has struggled to get any kind of work. In the end he's taken a job cold calling. He knows its not up to much but at the moment doesn't have much of choice. In the end I think of him and find the best answer is not to torment them but just say no thanks and put the phone down straight away. Now if I could actually speak to the people that own these companies / call centres then I'd have something to say...

    Cheers
    I love those valves...

  12. #12
    Wammer
    Join Date
     Nov 2011
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     733
    Location
     Hungerford
    Real Name
     As above
    Turn Table
     Turns
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     Transcribe
    SUT/Phono
     Equalises
    Digital Source 1
     Spins silver discs
    DAC
     Converts
    Speakers
     Speak
    Pre Amp
     Attenuates, switches
    Power Amp
     Amplify
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Quote Originally Posted by Turn it up! View Post
    I love the answers you guys are giving and I wish I could go through with them but in the end I just think these people are doing jobs they generally know are S**t but don't have a lot of choice. A friend of mine lost his job last year, he's over 50 and has struggled to get any kind of work. In the end he's taken a job cold calling. He knows its not up to much but at the moment doesn't have much of choice. In the end I think of him and find the best answer is not to torment them but just say no thanks and put the phone down straight away. Now if I could actually speak to the people that own these companies / call centres then I'd have something to say...

    Cheers
    Repped. Thoughtful and kind response to cold calling.

    I have nothing but sympathy for them and am always unfailingly polite but firm. Usually along the following lines: "Look, thanks, I don't wish to buy anything but I do appreciate that you have a tough job to do. Let me wish you better luck on your next call."

  13. #13
    Deaf Wammer Tel's Avatar
    Join Date
     Aug 2006
    Posts
     23,958
    Location
     Hove Actually
    Real Name
     Kevin
    Turn Table
     Kuzma Stabi S
    T/Arm & Cart
     Stogi, AN Io
    SUT/Phono
     Audio Note S6c
    Digital Source 1
     Rega Saturn
    Digital Source 2
     SBT
    DAC
     Rega
    Speakers
     LV OBX-R2
    Pre Amp
     Audio Note M3
    Power Amp
     CocoSan 300B PP Mono
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Has any one been watching 'The Call Centre' on BBC3?

    It is actually very good, the boss spends all his time trying to make sure his staff are happy! It obviously pays off as he has gone from a staff of 8 to over 200 in the last few years so it obviously works.

    If you don't want the calls register with the TPS, or even if you haven't tell them you have, they hang up immediately.
    "People are more important than animals" - Cloth Ears 22/2/13

  14. #14
    Super Wammer nomismo's Avatar
    Join Date
     Jun 2009
    Posts
     888
    Location
     Midlands
    Real Name
     Splodge
    Digital Source 2
     Nexus/ReadyNas
    DAC
     Stored away
    Speakers
     Stored away
    Power Amp
     stored away
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    They just follow a script after the systems auto dialed a pile of numbers, earlier this year we were daily phoned by an Asian gent asking if i had cavity wall insulation and if i had loft insulation and how deep it is. For fourteen days he got the same answer,both being i don't know, i lived on the sixth floor and the roof is another eight floors above, he didn't catch on until a few choice words went his way.

  15. #15
    Gufmeister Leonard Smalls's Avatar
    Join Date
     Aug 2005
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     Shropshire Borders,
    Turn Table
     Clearaudio
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     SME
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     EAR
    Digital Source 1
     Advantage
    Speakers
     Leema/Ditton
    Pre Amp
     Bow
    Power Amp
     Bryston
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    I'm registered with the TPS. And the new way round that is that they're ringing with a "survey".
    Last time I gave them a false name and answered all the questions, just to see how much junk mail I'd get (the caller assured me I wouldn't...)
    Professor Smithsonian has had about 30 letters trying to sell him everything from double glazing to insurance.
    Now, if the number doesn't come up on the phone display I let the answerphone take it.

  16. #16
    Horrible UKIP Bastard Cloth-Ears's Avatar
    Join Date
     Jul 2005
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     19,205
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     New Swabia
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     Aye
    Digital Source 1
     Several. All off.
    Speakers
     They speak English
    Power Amp
     Never on.
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Next time call yourself Jahbulon Cock.
    Work is a damn nuisance and a waste of precious time.

  17. #17
    Banhammer Time TheMinimalCriminal's Avatar
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     Nov 2010
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     2,960
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     Exeter
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     Jon
    Digital Source 1
     PC
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     MF X-24K
    Integrated Amp
     UnisonResearch Unico
    Speakers
     Triangle Celius
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    I'm surprised no one has mentioned the genuine cold calling scum that are the people that call in pretending to be from Microsoft trying to extort money from the ignorant.
    "In terms of any future hifi reviews of mine you may read, it is best to see me as, mmm ......... as, some sort of complete idiot" Cloth-ears, 25-02-2014

  18. #18
    Super Wammer TigerTiger's Avatar
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     Nov 2006
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     Scotland
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     George
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     SP10 / Hydraulic Ref
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     AT 1010 OC9
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     Martha / Anatec
    Digital Source 1
     Micromega Thing
    Integrated Amp
     Copland 401
    Speakers
     Focal 1007
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Quote Originally Posted by Turn it up! View Post
    I love the answers you guys are giving and I wish I could go through with them but in the end I just think these people are doing jobs they generally know are S**t but don't have a lot of choice. A friend of mine lost his job last year, he's over 50 and has struggled to get any kind of work. In the end he's taken a job cold calling. He knows its not up to much but at the moment doesn't have much of choice. In the end I think of him and find the best answer is not to torment them but just say no thanks and put the phone down straight away. Now if I could actually speak to the people that own these companies / call centres then I'd have something to say...

    Cheers
    That's what I do, small business, time really is money, but I do feel for them, it's a shit job.
    "I watched hours and hours of soccer. I almost saw a goal!" —Homer Simpson

  19. #19
    Wammer notaclue's Avatar
    Join Date
     Jul 2005
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     7,370
    Location
     Mayfair
    Real Name
     Duke of Steepletone
    Turn Table
     Steepletone Rock One
    Digital Source 1
     Steepletone Rock One
    Digital Source 2
     Steepletone Rock One
    Speakers
     Steepletone Rock One
    Pre Amp
     Steepletone Rock One
    Power Amp
     Steepletone Rock One
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Quote Originally Posted by Cloth-Ears View Post
    Next time call yourself *the name* Cock.
    How very dare you! However, I do agree that you could compel the caller to hang up using *the name*. "By the power of *the name*, I compel thee to go hangeth up and not calleth me back!" That would surely work.
    Last edited by notaclue; 14-06-2013 at 02:33 PM.
    Steepletone Rock One Jukebox



  20. #20
    Owner Mr Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
     Aug 2006
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     15,281
    Digital Source 1
     Cairn Fog V2
    Integrated Amp
     Cairn 4808A
    Speakers
     Dali Suite 2.8
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Quote Originally Posted by nomismo View Post
    They just follow a script after the systems auto dialed a pile of numbers, earlier this year we were daily phoned by an Asian gent asking if i had cavity wall insulation and if i had loft insulation and how deep it is. For fourteen days he got the same answer,both being i don't know, i lived on the sixth floor and the roof is another eight floors above, he didn't catch on until a few choice words went his way.
    I would have strong him along for ages and at the very end when he's asking for your postal details etc - mention that you live in a high rise flat...
    RENT THIS SPACE from as little as 19.99 a month.
    Highest standard, and the highest bullshit factor on the 'Wam.
    Guaranteed!

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