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  1. #1
    GdSveTheQueenTheFacistRgm barneys dad's Avatar
    Join Date
     Jan 2009
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    Real Name
     steve
    Turn Table
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     SBT
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     Pioneer spinner
    DAC
     Jolida Modwrighted
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     ESL 2905, Velodyne
    Pre Amp
     Art Audio Conductor
    Power Amp
     Art Audio Concerto
    Headphones
     
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No

    Call Centre Scum. How do you deal with them?

    "Can I speak to the owner of the business"
    You don't even know the name of the company you are calling.

    "We're conducting a survey"
    Like f*ck. Its a sales call.

    "3 months ago, you agreed to place some advertising with us".
    B*llocks, I've never spoken to you before.

    We've all got to make a living (unless you've been the CEO of a bank tax payers has kept alive and have bailed out after 5 minutes in the job with a big fat lump sum, share options and a mega pension) but I'd rather pick the scabs of a rabid dead donkey's arse than work in a call center.
    I've got to the point of just slamming the phone down on these dregs of mankind.
    Anyone got any killer replies to make these wastes of space feel even more worthless?
    Presenter of the Steve Edwards Show. Beat the DJ, new album chart, gig guide. 103 The Eye, tuesdays 10am-1pm.
    www.103theeye online. 103.0 FM Melton Mowbray & Vale of Belvoir.

  2. #2
    Cloffo I, King of Scots Cloth-Ears's Avatar
    Join Date
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     Scotchland
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     Steepletone 3 Speed
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     Vox Olympian/Elysian
    Pre Amp
     Kondo M1000
    Power Amp
     Kondo Kagura
    Headphones
     
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Play dumb. Repeat questions in different ways. Deliberately misunderstand them. Ask them to repeat things. Even ask, "Howd'youmean ?"
    Invite them to elaborate in ways that make you sound like a machine, " I see, please tell me more", "Now please tell more more about xxxx.... ", "Please repeat the previous statement", "I'm sorry I could not understand what you were saying, please repeat ........"
    Let them eventually have the impression that you've understood some of what they are telling you, then once again forget and ask questions about the very basics or what they started with. Ask them who they are and/or why they are calling you.
    Creatively make endless loops of this until they lose their temper and hang up. Or, pass you over to their "supervisor", in which case you may repeat all of the above again until the expiration of his/her patience.
    World's greatest hessian sack escapologist.

  3. #3
    Everything is awesome.... freefallrob's Avatar
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     Jun 2008
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     Derbyshire
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     SL1200MK2
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     RB301/Rega Bias 2
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     Rega Fono Mk2
    Digital Source 1
     Philips CD850
    Integrated Amp
     NAD C326BEE
    Speakers
     MS10i Pearl
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    "We're conducting a survey"

    My reply to one last night as I was preparing dinner "Well there's a funny thing thing so am I" .

    Caller. "oh right?"

    Me. "Yes, I'd like to ask YOU a few lame questions and maybe pop in some steamy sales patter somewhere along the line, I presume you have a few moments as you were kind enough to return my call?"

    Caller "Er....."

    Me "That's great, how many times in a day do you feel on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the most likely) that you feel you piss people off?"

    Caller.............>line goes dead<
    Last edited by freefallrob; 14-06-2013 at 01:42 PM.

  4. #4
    In the trade Wammer Evolution Audio's Avatar
    Join Date
     Nov 2012
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    Location
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     prev. Purité North
    Turn Table
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    T/Arm & Cart
     9ccEvo/Quintet Black
    SUT/Phono
     ProJect Phono Box RS
    Digital Source 1
     Box-Design CD Box DS
    Digital Source 2
     Box-Design Dock Box
    DAC
     M2Tech Young DSD
    Integrated Amp
     Puresound A30
    Speakers
     Acoustic Energy Ref1
    Pre Amp
     Puresound L300
    Power Amp
     Puresound M845 monos
    Headphones
     Supra
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     Yes
    Cold callers usually get the same response from me:

    "Oooh, that's interesting, can you hold the line a moment..."

    Then I put the 'phone down on the desk and leave it there while they wait, and wait, and wait...

    ~20 minutes is my best to date.

    And all the time they're doing that, they're wasting their money and not wasting some other poor sap's time.

    THE NEW NAME FOR PURITÉ NORTH
    paul@evoaudio.uk
    - or call 01757 706 372 - Full PDF Price List Here

  5. #5
    Cloffo I, King of Scots Cloth-Ears's Avatar
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     Steepletone 3 Speed
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     Bush CD/Cassette
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     Vox Olympian/Elysian
    Pre Amp
     Kondo M1000
    Power Amp
     Kondo Kagura
    Headphones
     
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    But sometimes it's satisfying to actively wind them up.
    For inspiration I can lend you The Book of Trolls if you like. It's an ancient manuscript but nevertheless holds relevance through all ages.
    World's greatest hessian sack escapologist.

  6. #6
    Wammer
    Join Date
     Mar 2009
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    Location
     Bradford, , United K
    Real Name
     Dave
    Turn Table
     VPI Classic
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     VPI Anniv + DL304
    SUT/Phono
     Musical Fidelity V3
    Digital Source 1
     NAS
    Digital Source 2
     Squeeze Classic
    DAC
     Micromega MyDac
    Speakers
     Robson Opulus
    Pre Amp
     Naim 122x
    Power Amp
     Naim 155x
    Headphones
     
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    My reply to these people and it works every time. Just say im sorry I am unable to talk with you I have mental Health Issues.

    Mind you looking at my HIFI system I have
    Last edited by DaveofBradford; 14-06-2013 at 01:20 PM. Reason: remembered
    Best Regards

    Dave

  7. #7
    Cloffo I, King of Scots Cloth-Ears's Avatar
    Join Date
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     Scotchland
    Turn Table
     Steepletone 3 Speed
    Digital Source 1
     Bush CD/Cassette
    Speakers
     Vox Olympian/Elysian
    Pre Amp
     Kondo M1000
    Power Amp
     Kondo Kagura
    Headphones
     
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Then you'll start getting cold calls about mental pills.
    World's greatest hessian sack escapologist.

  8. #8
    Souper Wammer brystonian's Avatar
    Join Date
     Aug 2012
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     1,756
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     Bedfordshire
    Real Name
     Jim
    Digital Source 1
     PC
    DAC
     Audiolab M-DAC
    Integrated Amp
     Bryston B-60
    Speakers
     Spendor A6
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    I just immediately hang up the second I know they're a waste of time. Unless I'm bored. Then i just repeat the same phrase at different speeds in increasingly silly voices. So they can't quite understand you. 'I like turtles' is going pretty well.

  9. #9
    Wammer zygote23's Avatar
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     Jul 2006
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     North Ireland, ,
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     Steve
    Turn Table
     Project Xperience
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     As above
    SUT/Phono
     Icon Audio PS1
    Digital Source 1
     Nas, Flac, SBT
    DAC
     CA Dacmagic
    Integrated Amp
     Electrocompaniet 1 3
    Speakers
     ProAc Studio 140
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    I ask them what time they get off.....then I ask if I can watch!
    Music up for grabs at My Discogs Open to offers from wammers on everything! (Except for Johnniebaby cos the artist wouldn't benefit )

  10. #10
    Wammer notaclue's Avatar
    Join Date
     Jul 2005
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     Mayfair
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     Duke of Steepletone
    Turn Table
     Steepletone Rock One
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     Steepletone Rock One
    Digital Source 2
     Steepletone Rock One
    Speakers
     Steepletone Rock One
    Pre Amp
     Steepletone Rock One
    Power Amp
     Steepletone Rock One
    Headphones
     Steepletone SDCH1110
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    You lot are taking the wrong approach. Why not spend half an hour or so answering all of their questions? If they are selling something, why not buy it?
    New signature coming soon...



  11. #11
    Super Wammer Turn it up!'s Avatar
    Join Date
     Nov 2012
    Posts
     366
    Location
     South London Forever
    Digital Source 1
     Astin Trew 3500+
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     iPad3 / Apple TV
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     Zingali Overture .3s
    Pre Amp
     Music First MKII
    Power Amp
     John Howes Quad II's
    Headphones
     
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    I love the answers you guys are giving and I wish I could go through with them but in the end I just think these people are doing jobs they generally know are S**t but don't have a lot of choice. A friend of mine lost his job last year, he's over 50 and has struggled to get any kind of work. In the end he's taken a job cold calling. He knows its not up to much but at the moment doesn't have much of choice. In the end I think of him and find the best answer is not to torment them but just say no thanks and put the phone down straight away. Now if I could actually speak to the people that own these companies / call centres then I'd have something to say...

    Cheers
    I love those valves...

  12. #12
    Wammer
    Join Date
     Nov 2011
    Posts
     814
    Location
     Hungerford
    Real Name
     As above
    Turn Table
     Turns
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    SUT/Phono
     Equalises
    Digital Source 1
     Spins silver discs
    DAC
     Converts
    Speakers
     Speak
    Pre Amp
     Attenuates, switches
    Power Amp
     Amplify
    Headphones
     
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Quote Originally Posted by Turn it up! View Post
    I love the answers you guys are giving and I wish I could go through with them but in the end I just think these people are doing jobs they generally know are S**t but don't have a lot of choice. A friend of mine lost his job last year, he's over 50 and has struggled to get any kind of work. In the end he's taken a job cold calling. He knows its not up to much but at the moment doesn't have much of choice. In the end I think of him and find the best answer is not to torment them but just say no thanks and put the phone down straight away. Now if I could actually speak to the people that own these companies / call centres then I'd have something to say...

    Cheers
    Repped. Thoughtful and kind response to cold calling.

    I have nothing but sympathy for them and am always unfailingly polite but firm. Usually along the following lines: "Look, thanks, I don't wish to buy anything but I do appreciate that you have a tough job to do. Let me wish you better luck on your next call."

  13. #13
    Deaf Wammer Tel's Avatar
    Join Date
     Aug 2006
    Posts
     25,920
    Location
     Hove Actually
    Real Name
     Kevin
    Turn Table
     Kuzma Stabi S
    T/Arm & Cart
     Stogi, AN Io
    SUT/Phono
     Audio Note S6c
    Digital Source 1
     Rega Saturn
    Digital Source 2
     SBT
    DAC
     Rega
    Speakers
     LV OBX-R2
    Pre Amp
     Audio Note M3
    Power Amp
     CocoSan 300B PP Mono
    Headphones
     
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Has any one been watching 'The Call Centre' on BBC3?

    It is actually very good, the boss spends all his time trying to make sure his staff are happy! It obviously pays off as he has gone from a staff of 8 to over 200 in the last few years so it obviously works.

    If you don't want the calls register with the TPS, or even if you haven't tell them you have, they hang up immediately.
    "We could have saved the Earth but we were too damned cheap" Kurt Vonnegut

  14. #14
    Super Dooper Wammer nomismo's Avatar
    Join Date
     Jun 2009
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     1,188
    Location
     Near the Middle
    Real Name
     Splodge
    Turn Table
     Pack away
    T/Arm & Cart
     Some Where
    SUT/Phono
     With the turntable
    Digital Source 1
     Meridian G08:2
    Digital Source 2
     Streammagic 6/RNas
    DAC
     T+A Dac 8
    Speakers
     Kef Ref 203mk'2s
    Pre Amp
     T+A Dac
    Power Amp
     2 x Meridian 557's
    Headphones
     Senn HD650's NJC amp
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    They just follow a script after the systems auto dialed a pile of numbers, earlier this year we were daily phoned by an Asian gent asking if i had cavity wall insulation and if i had loft insulation and how deep it is. For fourteen days he got the same answer,both being i don't know, i lived on the sixth floor and the roof is another eight floors above, he didn't catch on until a few choice words went his way.

  15. #15
    Gufmeister Leonard Smalls's Avatar
    Join Date
     Aug 2005
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     Shropshire Borders,
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     Clearaudio
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     EAR
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     Advantage
    Speakers
     Leema/Ditton
    Pre Amp
     Bow
    Power Amp
     Bryston
    Headphones
     
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    I'm registered with the TPS. And the new way round that is that they're ringing with a "survey".
    Last time I gave them a false name and answered all the questions, just to see how much junk mail I'd get (the caller assured me I wouldn't...)
    Professor Smithsonian has had about 30 letters trying to sell him everything from double glazing to insurance.
    Now, if the number doesn't come up on the phone display I let the answerphone take it.

  16. #16
    Cloffo I, King of Scots Cloth-Ears's Avatar
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     Jul 2005
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     Scotchland
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     Steepletone 3 Speed
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     Vox Olympian/Elysian
    Pre Amp
     Kondo M1000
    Power Amp
     Kondo Kagura
    Headphones
     
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Next time call yourself Jahbulon Cock.
    World's greatest hessian sack escapologist.

  17. #17
    Banhammer Time TheMinimalCriminal's Avatar
    Join Date
     Nov 2010
    Posts
     3,327
    Location
     Exeter
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     Jon
    Digital Source 1
     PC
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     MF X-24K
    Integrated Amp
     UnisonResearch Unico
    Speakers
     Triangle Celius
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    I'm surprised no one has mentioned the genuine cold calling scum that are the people that call in pretending to be from Microsoft trying to extort money from the ignorant.
    "RECYCLE suitably - including facial-hair onto garden." - Chumpy

  18. #18
    Super Wammer TigerTiger's Avatar
    Join Date
     Nov 2006
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     1,224
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     Scotland
    Real Name
     George
    Turn Table
     SP10 / Hydraulic Ref
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     AT 1010 OC9
    SUT/Phono
     Martha / Anatec
    Digital Source 1
     Micromega Thing
    Integrated Amp
     Copland 401
    Speakers
     Focal 1007
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Quote Originally Posted by Turn it up! View Post
    I love the answers you guys are giving and I wish I could go through with them but in the end I just think these people are doing jobs they generally know are S**t but don't have a lot of choice. A friend of mine lost his job last year, he's over 50 and has struggled to get any kind of work. In the end he's taken a job cold calling. He knows its not up to much but at the moment doesn't have much of choice. In the end I think of him and find the best answer is not to torment them but just say no thanks and put the phone down straight away. Now if I could actually speak to the people that own these companies / call centres then I'd have something to say...

    Cheers
    That's what I do, small business, time really is money, but I do feel for them, it's a shit job.
    "I watched hours and hours of soccer. I almost saw a goal!" —Homer Simpson

  19. #19
    Wammer notaclue's Avatar
    Join Date
     Jul 2005
    Posts
     7,967
    Location
     Mayfair
    Real Name
     Duke of Steepletone
    Turn Table
     Steepletone Rock One
    Digital Source 1
     Steepletone Rock One
    Digital Source 2
     Steepletone Rock One
    Speakers
     Steepletone Rock One
    Pre Amp
     Steepletone Rock One
    Power Amp
     Steepletone Rock One
    Headphones
     Steepletone SDCH1110
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Quote Originally Posted by Cloth-Ears View Post
    Next time call yourself *the name* Cock.
    How very dare you! However, I do agree that you could compel the caller to hang up using *the name*. "By the power of *the name*, I compel thee to go hangeth up and not calleth me back!" That would surely work.
    Last edited by notaclue; 14-06-2013 at 02:33 PM.
    New signature coming soon...



  20. #20
    Owner Mr Cat's Avatar
    Join Date
     Aug 2006
    Posts
     16,150
    Digital Source 1
     Cairn Fog V2
    Integrated Amp
     Cairn 4808A
    Speakers
     Dali Suite 2.8
    In the Hi-Fi industry?
     No
    Quote Originally Posted by nomismo View Post
    They just follow a script after the systems auto dialed a pile of numbers, earlier this year we were daily phoned by an Asian gent asking if i had cavity wall insulation and if i had loft insulation and how deep it is. For fourteen days he got the same answer,both being i don't know, i lived on the sixth floor and the roof is another eight floors above, he didn't catch on until a few choice words went his way.
    I would have strong him along for ages and at the very end when he's asking for your postal details etc - mention that you live in a high rise flat...
    this sig is intentionally blank...

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