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  1. #1
    Super Wammer SMEagol's Avatar
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    Scientists at CERN in Geneva have announced the discovery of the HEAVIEST element yet

    Scientists at CERN in Geneva have announced the discovery of the HEAVIEST element yet known to science





    The new element is Governmentium (Gv).
    It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

    These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lefton-like particles called peons.

    Since Governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes in contact.

    A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction normally taking less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.

    Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

    In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

    This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

    When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. All of the money is consumed in the exchange, and no other by-products are produced.
    "Before you play two notes learn how to play one note - and don't play one note unless you've got a reason to play it."
    - Mark Hollis (1998)

  2. #2
    Monkey spanker TheMinimalCriminal's Avatar
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    All lies, the heaviest element ever is your mum.
    Come to the Audio Abattoir, it's where all the real wammers have gone.

  3. #3
    Honorary Wammer JamPal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheMinimalCriminal View Post
    All lies, the heaviest element ever is your mum.
    POTY
    "Hugely affable" - Esquire Magazine :-)

  4. #4
    Wammer
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    Awesome,

  5. #5
    Super Dooper Wammer JANDL100's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheMinimalCriminal View Post
    All lies, the heaviest element ever is your mum.
    Streuth.

    Post Of The Year and I don't even understand it.

  6. #6
    Super Dooper Wammer JANDL100's Avatar
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    Can someone please explain it to Thicko (me).

  7. #7
    Super Wammer SMEagol's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheMinimalCriminal View Post
    All lies, the heaviest element ever is your mum.
    Don't get me down this road... you really wouldn't like where it leads!

    Good retort though!
    "Before you play two notes learn how to play one note - and don't play one note unless you've got a reason to play it."
    - Mark Hollis (1998)

  8. #8
    Αdministrator notaclue's Avatar
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    So how much would a sugar bag of it weigh compared to a bag of sugar?

  9. #9
    Super Wammer SMEagol's Avatar
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    Q: "Do my bosons give you a hadron?"

    A: I wouldn't mind computing the rotation coefficients of that symmetric bilinear pairing.
    "Before you play two notes learn how to play one note - and don't play one note unless you've got a reason to play it."
    - Mark Hollis (1998)

  10. #10
    Super Wammer pure sound's Avatar
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    Thats your mother? :eek:

    Sent from my GT-P3110 using Tapatalk 2

  11. #11
    Wammer barry2tone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheMinimalCriminal View Post
    All lies, the heaviest element ever is your mum.
    Too true.


    The OP ignores the critical mass of the matrons.
    Last edited by barry2tone; 14-08-2013 at 10:26 AM.
    cogito, ergo hmm?

  12. #12
    Panda Jezzer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheMinimalCriminal View Post
    All lies, the heaviest element ever is your mum.
    Most hilarious post ever.
    Eats, shoots and leaves...

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