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Ears last won the day on May 3

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About Ears

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  1. My wife screamed in pain during labour so I asked, “What’s wrong?”. She screamed. “These contractions are going to kill me!!” “I am sorry, love,” I replied. “What is wrong?”
  2. I once thanked a French guy to death. It was a merci killing.
  3. I was feeling bad about the future today, but then I installed the new version of Office. It improved my outlook.
  4. Re the above: picky gone awol again. The story is lifted from the BBC News website and the picky is nice too.
  5. 11:45 Children add 'toppers' to PPE to make masks less scary BBC Radio Berkshire Leighton Park School in Reading have now made & delivered nearly 35,000 face shields since the coronavirus pandemic began Their latest inspiration was to add toppers to the PPE that's heading to primary schools, to make them seem fun rather than strange for younger children Social embed from facebook
  6. Don't you mean "Attenuators haven't been mentioned for a while..."?
  7. Ears

    Covid Humour

    Priorities!!!!! Posted at 14:0814:08 [BBC] Drive-through Botox injections in Florida ReutersCopyright: Reuters With quarantine measures now relaxing in Florida, people are now getting drive-through Botox injections. Michael Salzhauer, a plastic surgeon has been conducting the treatments in the garage of his building in Miami, Reuters news agency reports. He said: "The areas that we inject Botox are the upper face, exactly the parts of the face that aren't covered by the mask so it's really ideal." Patients are paying an average of $600 (£478) each for the treatment. Florida relaxed its rules on certain elective medical procedures, including Botox, in May. However other services such as tattoo parlours are still waiting to open.
  8. I dunno what this WiFi dude did… But I’ve seen a load of bars and restaurants demanding his freedom lately. . (Remember bars and restaurants?)
  9. I accidentally sent my friend flowers over the internet. Whoops, E-Daisies.
  10. Wife : “You’re shirtless and also covered in… oil?” Husband: “Well, you’re always saying I never glisten.” Wife : “Listen! You never listen!”
  11. Ears

    Covid Humour

    You stalking me??????
  12. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-us-canada-52883495/george-floyd-uplifting-moments-from-peaceful-protests
  13. I went bobsleighing the other day. Killed 11 Bobs.