• To directly access the forum, ensure your bookmark url includes /forum.

Excerpt from the Diary of a Vauxhall Corsa Driver

E

earl of sodbury

Guest
shit!

cunting car won’t start

cunt from the AA got the motor startid: famly of refyugeez livin in thewater-main-sizedexzorst pipe…

pickt up Kevin, the Kevster, Kev and Fat Kevin from the War Memoreal whear they was taggin all the pijins! nice!

compared ASBOs - Fat Kevin's winning - 23: all4 pissin in the pick'n'mix in the scoop shop

shit!

cunt from the AA got the motor started again:2much drag from all the Rover drivers picknickin on the wale-tale spoilah

gave some cunt in a Mondeo a rite throm wen we screemed out a side road in front of him: silly-old suit-wearin cunt - wossee wavin an swearin 4?

stopped2 skin-up some skunk, smacked-on some depth-charge house…

shit!

cunt from the AA got the motor started again: sub flatted the battery, innit…

screemed round the shoppin centah4 a bit, did a bit of sniggering, chucked a few cans.Sum girls looked at us and we all spunked our kecks – it was well cool but had2 stop and mop-up

shit!

cunt from the AA got the motor started again… jism in the fuel tank…

tore-up to the dole-office, sined-on (I had 2 do evry1 cos Ime the only 1 wot cun rite). Thendown the Post Office- readies!: bort some more blue lights2 go on the valve caps…

shit! alternator burned-out from all the spotties, blue windscreen washers, underbody neons.........

cunt from the AA told us2 fuck off, so we nicked his stupid yellow van and set fire to it on the bypass

shit!

2 miles from home and no-one’s ever shown me how walking’s done…

I want my mummy…

 

Boxer

Wammer
Wammer
Nov 2, 2005
9,074
15
0
Is that you in a previous life, Earl????

Might account for the shirts.....

:sw:

Boxer

 

Chewie

Wammer
Wammer
Jul 20, 2005
2,201
6
0
The Fens
AKA
Carl
rofl.gif.57a0859802223cfb25763a5f876a4be6.gif
:rofl:
rofl.gif.57a0859802223cfb25763a5f876a4be6.gif
 
E

earl of sodbury

Guest
boxer wrote:

Is that you in a previous life, Earl????Might account for the shirts.....

:sw:

Boxer
No, as Kenny has ably pointed-out on a nearby thread - I've never given a rat's arse about the cars I've owned...

And they didn't have ASBOs in my day
wink.png


 
E

earl of sodbury

Guest
kennyk wrote:

earl of sodbury wrote:
kennyk wrote:
earl of sodbury wrote:
And they didn't have ASBOs in my day
wink.png
which is probaby why they have them now
wink.png
;)
I hope you choke on your deep-fried Mars bars tonight, Mister K!
eck13.gif
I just hope that Marianne Faithful didn't get to it first
00001664.gif.f3a6986ade705efb256520e3dde6edd1.gif
Oh, I dunno - fanny-batter as opposed to crispy batter...
tongue.png


 
E

earl of sodbury

Guest
hifiwigwam wrote:

EofS handy work from a thread about Sniff Petrol:
AdCorsa.jpg
thassit! perfick - jus needs sum boddykit and knee-ons, innit?

 

Forum statistics

Threads
108,032
Messages
2,287,348
Members
69,146
Latest member
Kinchitshaw