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Machina Dynamica's Advanced Audio Concepts - the ultimate in Foo?

Jelly Tussle

Wammer
Wammer
Apr 1, 2013
1,092
10
73
Apologies if this has already been posted; but I've just chanced upon this:

MACHINA DYNAMICA Advanced Audio Concepts We do Artificial Atoms Right

I'm particularly taken by:

Quantum Temple Bell

handheld Tibetan brass bell that improves audio and video when rung in strategic locations around the room. Instructions for use provided. $129 each.
and

Frog Jump in Water Sound Room Acoustics Tweak

Machina Dynamica's latest product, Frog Jump in Water Sound Room Acoustics Tweak, reduces distortion, reveals more ambient information, increases palpability and air and improves overall realism. The Frog Jump in Water Sound Room Acoustics Tweak entails the placement of 4 small plastic containers filled with ordinary water in strategic locations. Price includes four 12x8x6 plastic containers + instructions for use.
But the best of all has to be:

Machina Dynamica's Teleportation Tweak

The Only Audio Product that doesn't Require Shipping


The Teleportation Tweak is a phenomenal invention discovered and developed by Machina Dynamica for improving audio and video systems remotely over long distances. The fundamental principles of operation of The Teleportation Tweak are quantum teleportation and mind-matter interaction. The operational details of the Teleportation Tweak are the proprietary property of Machina Dynamica. The Teleportation Tweak is independent of distance and will work anywhere in the world you happen to be located. We have performed The Teleportation Tweak many times for distances between 1000 and 4000 miles, even for distances greater than 10,000 miles. The Teleportation Tweak works equally well using your landline phone or cell phone.

The Teleportation Tweak has a profound effect on the sound and video picture: (1) Clearer, (2) More information, (3) Greater frequency extension and (4) Lower distortion. The Teleportation Tweak is obtained during a phone call to Machina Dynamica from your landline phone or cell phone; you can make the call from any room in your house. The audio or video system does not have to be ON at the time the call is made. The tweak itself takes about 20 seconds and will sound like a series of mechanical pulses. You can listen to the Teleportation Tweak over the phone or you can set the phone down, your call. :)

The Teleportation Tweak will also improve any video system in your house, including plasma, LED, and high end projection systems -- better contrast, color saturation, color fidelity and definition.

It is not necessary for your audio or video system to be ON at the time of the telephone call. However, for ease of A/B comparing the Teleportation Tweak before and after the telephone call, you should turn the audio and/or video system ON prior to the call and allow it to warm up the customary time. Then you can evaluate a few favorite tracks before and after The Teleportation Tweak is performed. You can also evaluate the picture quality of the video system before and after the call.

You will find that the effects of The Teleportation Tweak are instantaneous and that the improvement to sound quality is immediately audible. In fact, if the system is playing at the time of the telephone call, you will be able to hear the improvement taking place while The Teleportation Tweak is being performed. You will find The Teleportation Tweak excels in 3-dimensionality, lushness, inner detail and air. The picture quality of any video system in the house will also be improved -- better contrast and integrity of color and blacker black. You will especially notice better skin tones, saturation of colors, shininess of surfaces, textures of fabrics, etc.
:rofl:

Peter Belt himself couldn't have done better.



 
V

Voice_Coil

Guest
In fact, if the system is playing at the time of the telephone call, you will be able to hear the improvement taking place while The Teleportation Tweak is being performed.
:D

 

pure sound

Wammer
Wammer
Sep 10, 2011
8,771
214
108
West Devon
HiFi Trade?
  1. No
My favourite audio company. I rejoice in the fact that they got a blinding review from Ken Kessler for one of their magnificent products. :thumbup:

 

whizzkid

I told you it wasn't important
Wammer
Dec 30, 2006
8,353
1,077
158
Earth 2
AKA
Slartibartfast
HiFi Trade?
  1. No
If you can find an untapped market and make a lot of money I say good on ya! life's far to short to worry about morality and ethics.

 

nick dartmoor

Super Wammer Plus
Wammer
Sep 19, 2009
1,633
67
93
Devon, UK
This one is brilliant:

http://www.machinadynamica.com/machina64.htm

Serious question - do people actually give them money? I mean, really? I think they are so obviously taking the utter piss, they deserve every penny they make, if they really do. It's really good satire, well put together. I struggle to believe anyone would actually buy anything from them, although there is a paypal link there.

 

johnniebaby

Wammer
Wammer
Nov 11, 2006
18,124
200
108
Midlands
AKA
John
This one is brilliant:http://www.machinadynamica.com/machina64.htm

Serious question - do people actually give them money? I mean, really? I think they are so obviously taking the utter piss, they deserve every penny they make, if they really do. It's really good satire, well put together. I struggle to believe anyone would actually buy anything from them, although there is a paypal link there.
People pay thousands for cables, so why not?

 

nick dartmoor

Super Wammer Plus
Wammer
Sep 19, 2009
1,633
67
93
Devon, UK
That's true, but at least most of the expensive cable-sellers make some pretence of credibility/authenticity, in their promotional material. They are genuinely trying to sound like they are speaking with authority, and they can come across quite convincingly. This stuff is so obviously deliberately written to be as ridiculous as possible.

Fascinating actually; I'd love to know if/how much they make.

 

JBCobra

Legend Wammer
Wammer
May 10, 2010
6,895
76
0
HiFi Trade?
  1. No
+1 Nick

Have any ideas for creating some new foo? :geek:

Maybe we are in the wrong business?

That's true, but at least most of the expensive cable-sellers make some pretence of credibility/authenticity, in their promotional material. They are genuinely trying to sound like they are speaking with authority, and they can come across quite convincingly. This stuff is so obviously deliberately written to be as ridiculous as possible.Fascinating actually; I'd love to know if/how much they make.
 

JBCobra

Legend Wammer
Wammer
May 10, 2010
6,895
76
0
HiFi Trade?
  1. No
Let's get some Champinones Magique and see what we come up with:^

 

Clubsport911

Wammer
Wammer
Jan 19, 2013
1,757
149
98
Cheltenham
AKA
Steve
HiFi Trade?
  1. No
Bored, and on business overseas, I've just read the entire site.

He drops names a lot in an industry I know well, so I'm tempted to have an "uber guru" I know

, call and "out Quantum" him.

It's classy...really classy. Did someone say, he has been reviewed by a uk rag and came out smiling ?

 
B

BD Audio

Guest
NEW!!! Frog Jump in Water Sound Tweak (Bowls of Water). Using ordinary water. $29, includes instructions + 4 plastic bowls.

Awesome.

 

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