Amormusic

I've never felt as stupid as when...

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A lighthearted thread folks to showcase human idiocy at it's best...

I'll kick off with...

Me and a mate have recently joined the gym. I went on Saturday with him and we decided we'd hit the weights like the He-Men we are (yeah right!!)... went too hard and now I literally cannot straighten my arms, think I've ripped some muscles and its bloody agony - I feel like a right muppet!!

Or here's another - a couple of years back I helped a friend to put up her kids trampoline on a very hot summers day, thought it would take 10 minutes and lost track of time - an hour or so later, result, finished... Hooray... Two hours or so later, owweee!!! I completely forgot to put on suncream and I was wearing a vest, whoops! Several hours later and so frazzled to a crisp I could not bend my arms to my face and my Mrs had to feed me my dinner!!!

What stupid stuff have you done?

Make me feel better about myself for being such a muppet!!!

And ps - anyone know any good muscle remedies as this bloody kills!!!

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Super Wammer

I've never felt as stupid as when... I left my briefcase in a branch of Our Price records and after realising, returned back to find it closed and police car parked outside. My heart sank and I felt sick... After a sheepish tap on door, I explained that the case was mine and after opening it prove it wasn't anything more sinister, I apologised red faced but just as I about to leave, the policeman took a call on his radio concerning a suspect bag in Marks & Spencer's... after which he asked if I'd been there too... at least he saw the funny side of it  :) 

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Me and colleague once drove 2 hours to install a safe, without the safe. The boss was super impressed.

I also forgot to take the chuck key out of a lathe once and fired it at myself. 

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15 hours ago, orbscure said:

I've never felt as stupid as when... I left my briefcase in a branch of Our Price records and after realising, returned back to find it closed and police car parked outside. My heart sank and I felt sick... After a sheepish tap on door, I explained that the case was mine and after opening it prove it wasn't anything more sinister, I apologised red faced but just as I about to leave, the policeman took a call on his radio concerning a suspect bag in Marks & Spencer's... after which he asked if I'd been there too... at least he saw the funny side of it  :) 

Left a bag with a clock and batteries in it, at Manchester Airport when I went for a leak.  Came back to find two Policemen approaching it with extreme caution.  They weren't too happy and I deserved the dressing down that came my way. 

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After a department team building away day I went out with a group of work colleagues bowling and had quite a few to Drink. Woke up next day in the hotel with a bloody awful hang over and ended up bashing my head on the soap dish whilst showering resulting in a cut head. Whilst nursing my wound got dressed and looked for my shoes only to find a pair of bowling shoes where they should have been. You can imagine the reception I got from my work colleagues went I went down to breakfast with a bloody bald head whilst wearing a pair of red bowling shoes.

Edited by wHIZZY
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For your amusement...

I decided on my lunch break working from home I should have a go on my dumbells. I got them out, disassembled them to decide how heavy they should be...

But being a goldfish, got distracted half way in and started messing about balancing the spindle bar thing on one hand... Promptly lost the balance and twatted myself in the eye with the metal bar, which weighs about 1kg!!!

I now have a massive shiner and feel like a complete helmet!!!

Oh well, at least I dont have to go out so no one will see me 😂😂😂

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Me and the Missus were having just a general day out when we saw a deal on ten pin bowling. It was just after dinner and we went at it like hammer and tongs for about 3 hours. That was great......really enjoyed that we commented on the way home.

We couldn't hardly stand up from sitting down and vice versa. Utter agony for about 3 days, we were of course using muscles we don't normally use.

Never been back

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On 10/12/2019 at 01:43, brystonian said:

I also forgot to take the chuck key out of a lathe once

:o :doh:

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When I was an apprentice, I was tasked with Torquing the Wheelnuts on an old Leyland Cruiser. 

I wondered why a few of my colleagues were standing around laughing. 

I was in effect loosening the Wheelnuts. Left Hand thread on one side, Right Hand thread on the other side. 

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

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Many years ago we bought our son a bike for Christmas and stored it in my brother in laws garage until Christmas eve afternoon when I went out to assemble it. 

I straightened the handlebars and fitted the seat, fitted the right pedal but couldn't get the left one to go on (you've probably all guessed why) after several attempts I put it in the car and drove to the bike shop to see if they could help, I explained the problem and just as the assistant took the offending pedal from my hand I had that light bulb moment "it's a left handed thread you idiot" 

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51 minutes ago, brystonian said:

Luckily it hit me in the head. If it had been my arse, there could have been some permanent brain damage.

I once had a parting off tool snap, I was wearing goggles, but no guard on the lathe - the sharp bit flew off and embedded itself in my chin!!

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7 minutes ago, gintonic said:

I once had a parting off tool snap, I was wearing goggles, but no guard on the lathe - the sharp bit flew off and embedded itself in my chin!!

I'm now clutching my chin! Ouch! 

😱 😱 😱 

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