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Jokes, old or new (again!!!!)

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I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all.

“How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me.

“Nothing” I slurred.

“Look at me!” she shouted, “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”

I paused for a second while I thought, and said, “It’s you, I can tell by the voice.”

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On 23/05/2020 at 06:54, Bit Perfect said:

Amazed by how much my wife loves me despite being isolated with me over so many weeks. Why, only the other night I woke up to find her trying to protect me from the virus by tightly holding a pillow over my nose!

Oh cripes!

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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

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