Ears 1,467 Posted December 31, 2020 (edited) An anteater walks into a bar and the bartender asks, “Can I get you a drink?” “Nooooooooooooooooooooo!” “How about something to eat?” “Nooooooooooooooooooooo!” “What about some peanuts?” “Nooooooooooooooooooooo!” Frustrated, the bartender cries, “What’s with the long no’s!?” Edited December 31, 2020 by Ears 2 1 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bazzer 8,286 Moderator Posted December 31, 2020 7 minutes ago, Ears said: An anteater walks into a bar and the bartender asks, “Can I get you a drink?” “Nooooooooooooooooooooo!” “How about something to eat?” “Nooooooooooooooooooooo!” “What about some peanuts?” “Nooooooooooooooooooooo!” Frustrated, the bartender cries, “What’s with the long no’s!?” 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zeta4 186 Posted December 31, 2020 Another oldie getting an airing Man " Doctor I keep feeling kind of blue " Doctor "I think youve got Mild Davis" 6 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
audio_PHIL_e 640 Posted December 31, 2020 3 war-weary soldiers were stumbling along in the desert - an American, an Englishman, and a Frenchman. One of them stubs his toe on a bottle sticking out of the sand, the top comes off and out comes the genie. He says "3 of you, one wish each". The American asks for a shiny red pickup truck with lashings of chrome, and gets it. With a "Yee Haarrrr" he drives off, leaving the Frenchman and the Englishman to present their wishes. The Frenchman asks for a wall around France, to keep the immigrants out. With a snap of the fingers the genie says "It is done , Master", and then the genie turns to the Englishman saying "What is your wish?". The Englishman says "Tell me about this wall around France"., so the genie says "It is 25m tall and 15m thick". The Englishman says "Excellent - fill it up with water!". 7 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ProJules 76 Posted December 31, 2020 (edited) Skeleton walks into a bar And orders a pint of beer and a mop Edited December 31, 2020 by ProJules 1 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
audio_PHIL_e 640 Posted January 1 An Englishman a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barkeeper says "Is this some kind of joke?" 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ears 1,467 Posted January 2 again Why do anteaters never get sick? Because of all the antybodies inside them! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ears 1,467 Posted January 2 There, saved Bazzer some effort. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bazzer 8,286 Moderator Posted January 2 23 minutes ago, Ears said: again Why do anteaters never get sick? Because of all the antybodies inside them! I think it also deserves a : Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ears 1,467 Posted January 2 You mean like this???? 1 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zeta4 186 Posted January 2 Reilly is on trial for armed robbery when the jury foreman comes into court and announces "Not guilty" "Thats great" says Reilly "Does that mean I can keep the money?" 6 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ron Hilditch 636 Posted January 2 (edited) If I pay more tax, will Covid 19 go away? They seem to think it will work with Climate Change! Edited January 2 by Ron Hilditch Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pinkie 197 Posted January 2 It's p***ng down, so an old favourite - one for Jerry maybe A guy walks into a pub, with 3 ducks - " A pint for me, and a half each for the talking ducks please" So the barman turns to the first duck and says "Here's your drink - what's your name, and what sort of a day have you had" "My name's Huey" he replies " And it's been a brilliant day. Quick swim first, then a long walk in the rain, in and out of puddles all day - brilliant" The barman turns to the 2nd duck and says "How about you?" "Oh my names Duey - and I've had a terrific day. Quick swim first, then a long walk in the rain, in and out of puddles all day - brilliant" Turning to the 3rd duck "I bet I can guess you're name's Louis isn't it?" "No - my names Puddles, and don't even ask what sort of a day I've had" 1 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pinkie 197 Posted January 2 On 31/12/2020 at 22:08, audio_PHIL_e said: The Englishman says "Excellent - fill it up with water!". "FOR SALE Genuine French army WW2 rifle. Never fired. Dropped once" 1 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
