Cameron Diaz - quotes from 'Bad Teacher'


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Wammer Plus
Jul 6, 2007
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I'd not seen this. It is juvenile, silly, unsuitable for younger people... And has Cameron Diaz (playing Elizabeth) dishing some great quotes.

Maybe it was the beer, but I enjoyed it. :^ :-D (And the car wash scene was quite entertaining.)

Elizabeth: "Get yourself hard cuz I'm gonna suck your dick like I'm mad at it… Oh look, your mom's here…"

Elizabeth: "I found him in bed with somebody else. It was another man."

Amy: "Shut the front door"

Elizabeth: "You know I spent my entire summer hanging out at the bars near where the Bulls practice. I had some fun, got some cool souvenirs but those guys are not looking to settle down. I mean they all wear condoms, then they take the condoms with them, that's how paranoid they are. Like it's so easy to get pregnant from some dude nutting into a condom"

Elizabeth: "You have no idea how hard it is to compete against those Barbie doll types."

Lynn: "Yeah, that's true we're not getting any younger…"

Russell: "So I heard about the whole engagement thing, that blows"

Elizabeth: "Did you know I walked in on him trying to fuck his dog, peanut butter everywhere"

Amy: "Did I hear you were showing a movie this morning on the first day of school?"

Elizabeth: "How do I know what you heard?"

Amy: "…actually I was really hoping we could be more than just across the hall mates"

Elizabeth: "I don't now what you heard but I don't eat muff pie"

Amy: "No, of course not, I don't even know what that is, I just meant friends"

Elizabeth: (on the phone) "fucking troll!"

Kirk: "Did you call my name?"

Elizabeth: "No, I said fucking troll."

Kirk: "Oh, I thought you said Kirk."

Kirk: "Want to get wasted?" (sits bottle of alcohol down)

Elizabeth: "Uh, yeah"

Kirk: "Cool, see ya" (leaves)

Elizabeth: "We should go get a drink tonight, I feel like getting drunk. I mean not drunk drunk, strong buzz, still able to drive"

Scott: "I'm sorry, I can't yet, I'm just not ready but if you're patient I think I might be worth your while"

Elizabeth: "You're worth the wait"

Scott: "I think so too."

Lynn: (about Scott) "I love how his eyes sparkle when he smiles."

Elizabeth: "I want to sit on his face."

Elizabeth: "Listen word to the wise, stop dressing like you're running for congress"

Sasha: "I don't want to run for congress, I want to be president."

Elizabeth: "See that's what I'm talking about, keep saying s*it like that and you're going to get punched."

Russell: "Want to go get high?"

Elizabeth: "Yeah, give me a nug, I'll go smoke it in my car"

Russell: "Wow, no, I meant do you want to go get high with me?"

Russell: "Can I say something for the record?"

Elizabeth: "Fine"

Russell: "It's about your, the, the big fake titties, are you really going to do that?"

Elizabeth: "Uh huh"

Russell: "Why would you do that? Your tits are fine, I like your tits, ask my roommate."

Elizabeth: "I'll tell you what I know, a kid who wears the same gymnastics sweatshirt 3 days a week isn't getting laid until he's 29″

Garrett: "This sweatshirt was my dad's, it's all he left me, when he left me"

Elizabeth: "There's a reason he didn't pack it, just saying"

Lynn: "..a bunch of us are going out tonight to see Period 5 play, you want to come?"

Elizabeth: "Period 5?"

Lynn: "Yeah, the teacher band"

Elizabeth: (laughs) "Yeah, I'd rather get shot in the face"

Elizabeth: "…get your ass over to those cowboys"

Lynn: "Well I'm glad I wore my fun underwear"

Elizabeth: "Fuck! Is it me, I mean is there something wrong with me?"

Lynn: "I don't think so, I mean sometimes you talk to people and..."

Elizabeth: (cutting her off) "Thank you"

Elizabeth: "You want to know what turns me on, sex in an office, getting fucked really hard against a wooden desk"

Carl: "Mine's metal"

Elizabeth: "Even better"

Scott: (while dry humping) "Your jeans feel so good against my jeans"

Elizabeth: "Totally"

Scott: "Oh, I'm dry humping the shit out of you"

Elizabeth: "Oh yeah, dry fuck the fuck out of me Scott"

Scott: "Just stop talking"

Elizabeth: "Maybe next time we can dry hump without our clothes on."

Scott: "I'm pretty sure I'd like that."

Scott: "Everything okay with Garrett?"

Elizabeth: "No it's not, I found him hooking up with an 8th grader from another school, she was jerking him off (mimes it), yeah, I'm gonna give him detention when we get back."

Russell: "I"m going through such a tough time, can I have your panties?"

Elizabeth: "I'm not wearing any"


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